What is Negativity?
Negativity is a pessimistic way of thinking that keeps the person in a downward spiral in which they are often drawn to the worst-case scenarios, skepticism, and are generally untrusting of others and the world around them. Anger, resentment, separateness, fear, depression, and anxiety can be effects of negative thinking. Stopping your bad thoughts in their tracks may not be as hard as you think.
Is Being Negative a Bad Thing?
Humans are addicted to drama, fear, and negativity because that’s how our brains were programmed during hunter-gatherer times. Think back to our caveman roots. Our brains were designed to react strongly to negative stimuli to protect us against danger. So back in the day, negativity would save us from becoming prey, attacked by other tribes, fires, poisonous plants, etc. Our brains evolved this way because it’s impossible to stay alert and ready for “fight or flight” if we’re distracted by the beautiful rainbow in the sky. But in this day and age, we no longer need to fear being prey as we once did before. Therefore, we are susceptible to negative bias, meaning that we are affected by negative situations more than neutral or positive ones.
How to Stop Bad Thoughts
Being that we’re predisposed to negative thinking, we need to actively reprogram our brain to think more positive. This requires being present with our thoughts and reducing our time spent running on autopilot. You can start by acknowledging a negative thought when it comes in. As you become aware of your negative thoughts, they will automatically begin to shift. You can also actively alter your negative thoughts to more neutral or positive ones. Each time you’re able to do this, it retrains your brain to default to a more positive way of thinking.
How to Stop Negative Thoughts Anxiety
#1 Avoid the Media
The media thrives off of negativity and they know what their audience responds to, which is drama and fear. So, make a conscious effort to filter out any unnecessary news that you’re listening to.
#2 Avoid Negative Entertainment
This includes the dark TV series everyone is talking about. These types of shows can create fear and anxiety, which both perpetuate negativity. Have you ever noticed that when you’re in a bad place in life, you prefer depressing TV shows, movies, or music? On the other hand, if you’re in a good place in life, you often enjoy comedies, uplifting TV programs, and upbeat music. Your current mood dictates what you’re attracted to; however, what you choose to expose yourself to will perpetuate the feelings you’re having. If you’re depressed and watch a dark series on Netflix, then this will contribute to more depression, which will keep the negativity going.
#3 Distance Yourself from Negative People and Remove Yourself from Toxic Relationships
You may find that some people close to you often give off a negative energy. You may even enjoy their negativity because you are in a negative place as well. Ask yourself if this is an unhealthy relationship that’s holding you back from seeing the good in life. Learn how to detach yourself emotionally from these people and limit your time spent as much as possible. You may even want to let the person know that they are dwelling in negativity. Confronting them may be hard to do, but you will be doing them a favor in the end. Sometimes you’re so deep in a negative spiral that it’s hard to notice how deep you’ve gone.
#4 Practice Forgiveness
Forgive those who you feel have done you wrong. “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” If you’re holding a grudge toward someone in your life, forgive them, and let it go. You need to be able to forgive in order to embrace the present moment, otherwise you’re living in the past. Think of a time that you got in a fight with someone and held onto the anger toward them. You go about your daily life only to hear their name come up at some point in the future. Notice the stress, anger, and negativity this feeling brings upon you. You’re holding on to this anger and storing it in your subconscious only for it to come out at a later time. This animosity is stored in your body as negative energy. You may think that you’ve moved on, but if you haven’t forgiven the person, then you’re still stuck with this negative energy. Resentment is toxic for your body, and it reveals itself through stress, anger, and negativity.
#5 Eliminate Negative Self-Talk
“Why do bad things keep happening to me?” Avoid this type of self-talk, playing the victim, and forget about those pity parties. Never talk down to yourself and learn how to love and respect yourself by using positive affirmations. All this requires is acknowledging the thought when it comes in and rephrasing it in a positive way. The act of doing this over and over again helps automatically retrain your brain to think more positive.
#6 Accept Whatever Comes Your Way, Good or Bad
Surrender to every situation you find yourself in whether it’s good or bad. If you find that you’re stuck in a traffic jam, then just let it be. Don’t honk your horn, get mad, or swerve through traffic; just be at peace with it. Having a negative reaction to this situation brings stress, anger, and bad energy.
#7 Release the Ego
It’s important to set aside your ego and work through your problems. If you’re dealing with someone who is difficult, then you may be better off telling them that you understand where they are coming from and make peace with them. This doesn’t mean that you’re accepting that they are right, and you are wrong. It just means that you are choosing peace over ego, and you refuse to carry this burden around with you. Think about what will happen if you walk away from that friend with the issue unresolved. You’ll continue to imagine the argument later, stressing yourself further by storytelling in your mind. “How unfair your friend was being, what else you could have said, how you’re right and they’re wrong.” Let it go! Surrender to the situation. Forgive, forget, and agree to disagree.
#8 Find the Positive Uniqueness in Every Situation
Ask yourself if there’s anything you can learn from the circumstance that you find yourself in. Saying you’re unlucky, life isn’t fair, you’ve been dealt a bad hand, or any other negative outlook, only brings more negativity in your life. Learn how to turn struggles into success, obstacles into opportunities, and use each challenging situation as an opportunity for self-growth.
#9 Let Go of the Past and Live in the Present Moment
Let go of the past, stop storytelling, stop reminiscing over stuff that’s happened, and let that embarrassing memory go. Don’t ask yourself any could have, should have, or would haves. Let it go! It is what it is! Mindfulness or living in the moment is essential to finding true happiness.
#10 Find a new job or career that you’re happy with
If you find that your negativity is stemming from your workplace, then consider the effect that this may be having on your personal well-being. Are you stressed out at work? Feel under-appreciated? Dealing with someone negative in the workplace? Or find yourself in a career that is no longer fulfilling you? Write down the positives and negatives and figure out what kind of budget you would need to start something new. We only live once, and life is too short to spend the majority of it in a job that you’re unhappy with.
“Find the positive uniqueness in every circumstance you find yourself in. Learn how to turn struggles into success, obstacles into opportunities, and use each challenging situation as an opportunity for self-growth.”
Check out my book to learn more about how to stop negative thoughts and anxiety.
Check out my book!
Balance the Bossy Brain is a relatable guide to overcoming anxiety by finding the root cause, and bringing the brain, body, and spirit back into balance. Coming to you from personal experience!
The connection between stress and anxietyFacing your fearsAnxiety techniques and treatment methodsThe gut-brain connectionHealing stagnant emotional traumaTaming the EgoMindfulness and living the present momentFinding true happinessEmbracing faith over fearLearn more about Habitat for Wellness
Great read!
Glad you enjoyed it, Anie!