Living with Social Anxiety
Agoraphobia, also known as social anxiety, is a condition in which someone feels an overwhelming fear of social situations, in that they may be judged, humiliated, rejected, or caused to be center of attention. An agoraphobic lifestyle can be very debilitating and interfere with someone’s ability to live life to the fullest. This is because they avoid many social situations that are important for self-growth. Having a fear of leaving the house, fear of crowds, or fear of people can stop a person from meeting new people, going on job interviews, interacting with others, dating, and dining out in public. Learning how to get over social anxiety involves understanding the cause of the fear in the first place.
How to Get Over Social Anxiety by Releasing the Ego
Someone suffering from social anxiety may have an immense fear of being judged by others. They may not realize it, but they are the ones doing most of the judging. Someone who is characterized as having a big ego is usually someone who is seen as more confident and extroverted, while someone who is shy may be characterized as being reserved and more of a listener rather than a talker. The twist is that someone with social anxiety may exhibit more egotistical behavior than the more confident person. The idea lies in the fact that shyness is usually covering up some type of insecurity coming from within. The shy person may desire the confidence to be more outgoing, but their fear of judgement stops them from being this way.
Shyness and Social Anxiety
Social anxiety causes may be attributed to shyness in adolescence, low self-esteem, or childhood trauma, such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, and abandonment issues. PTSD can also lead to social anxiety and these disorders commonly co-exist with one another. A shy person may feel self-conscious and use avoidance as a way of protecting themselves. Misinterpreting someone’s words or behaviors can also contribute to social anxiety.
Social Anxiety Triggers
- Fear of leaving the house
- Fear of open spaces
- Fear of crowds
- Fear of going outside
- Fear of people
Social Anxiety Symptoms
Any of these symptoms may appear as a result of being faced with any of the fears listed above.
- Increased heart rate
- Perspiration
- Nausea
- Diarrhea
- Shortness of breath
- Mind going blank
- Loss of train of thought
- Trembling
- Inability of making eye contact
- Muscle tension
How to Get Over Social Anxiety
1) Face your fears
Face your fears – Learning how to overcome fear of social situations involves gradually exposing yourself to your feared scenario. This could include eating at restaurants, using public bathrooms, hanging with friends, going to social events, or public speaking. An agoraphobic lifestyle involves avoiding fearful scenarios which fuels the fear even more. Gradually exposing yourself to your fears actually helps diminish the fear.
2) Inner child work
Inner child work – Since social anxiety is usually closely linked with childhood emotional trauma, Inner child work would be a great means of overcoming social anxiety. This type of therapy consists of healing unresolved emotional trauma. Inner child issues can stunt someone’s self-growth, which could result in underdeveloped social skills. Identifying, acknowledging, and healing this trauma can help build confidence and give someone the courage to face their fear of crowds.
3) Learning how to shift negative thoughts to positive thoughts
Learning how to shift negative thoughts to positive thoughts – This requires being conscious of negative thoughts when they come in. Every time a negative thought is exposed, it will diminish in strength. Avoid talking down to yourself or playing the victim. Instead, use positive self-affirmations to raise your self-esteem. Some examples might be: “I am strong, I am fearless, I am loved, I am worthy, I am awesome.” This can help build someone’s self-image and self-worth, giving them the confidence needed to face social situations. Learn more about overcoming negativity.
4) Try to see things from a different perspective
Try to see things from a different perspective – Is the situation as bad as you think? Is everyone really looking at you? Is everyone really judging you? Could it be that the person looking at you is just admiring your outfit? Or could it be that the person asking you questions is genuinely interested in getting to know you? Try to see these situations from a third persons point of view.
5) Learn how to be more present and release the ego
Learn how to be more present and release the ego – Think back to an embarrassing moment that you experienced in childhood or high school. Does that moment in time matter to you now? In 5 years from now, will that memory really matter? When you look at it from today’s perspective, I’m sure it seems pretty insignificant, right? Let go of the past and focus on the present moment. Learning how to be more present involves being conscious of your thoughts.
Learning how to get over social anxiety will be a work in progress. The person must be able to ditch their agoraphobic lifestyle by releasing their ego, healing stagnant emotional trauma, and gradually facing their fears.
You can absolutely overcome social anxiety, but it requires knowledge and dedication. Consider reading my book Balance the Bossy Brain to learn more about my experience with anxiety and how to overcome fear and anxiety.
A relatable guide to overcoming anxiety by finding the root cause, and bringing the brain, body, and spirit back into balance. Coming to you from personal experience!
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